Archive for coaching

We All Stumble or Fall. But Then What?

Lakshmi
Written by Lakshmi Gopalkrishnan
Through her company, Infinite Impact, Lakshmi offers her expertise as a High-Performance keynote speaker,  executive leadership coach, and master facilitator for Dr. Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead™.  

 

When you stumble or fall, what do you say to yourself?

Scenario 1

You put yourself out there: try something new, aim high, or speak up for what is right. In short, you step out of comfort into courage. It’d be great if you scored a tidy win. But instead, you stumble. You crash.

Do you…Beat self up

  • Beat yourself up?
  • Doubt your abilities?
  • Compare yourself to others?

I’ve done all those things. In fact, if I’m being honest, I used to see them as proof of diligence, discipline, and a high bar.

Can anyone reading this relate?

Scenario 2

Now, think of someone you care for—a family member, friend, or beloved client—who did those brave things: trying something new, aiming high, or speaking up for what’s right. And they stumbled. They crashed.

How would you respond in their moment of despair? Would you doubt their abilities, beat them up, or compare them unfavorably to others?

Or would you:encouragement

  • Tell them you’re proud of them?
  • Remind them you’re in their corner?
  • Applaud their courage and resilience?

I know you’d applaud, support, and encourage them. I would, too.

Every. Single. Time.

So why do we beat ourselves up when WE’RE the ones being brave?

Here’s a simple tip paraphrasing Dr. Kristin Neff, who researches the science of self compassion:

Treat yourself like someone you love.

Use that voice. Use those words.

This was HARD for me. I was 100% able to extend compassion and empathy to many, but extending it to myself felt weak. As in, self-compassion = self-indulgence.

My clients—kind, generous, fierce, and tender leaders who didn’t see themselves how the rest of us saw them, people I care for deeply and am honored to partner with—inspired me to build the muscle.

Here is a short daily practice that I coach—and practice myself. It works for me because I’m usually tired, and this is SIMPLE:

  • I name three things I’m grateful for.
  • For anything where I took a chance and crashed, I honor the courage it took to try: “It would have been so much easier not to do that—great job trying.”

Building this muscle has been transformative for me. It’s helped me find the resilience, confidence, and optimism to turn many stumbles into steppingstones—and stay in the game.

Next time you stumble, try treating yourself like someone you love. That voice. Those words.

Even if it’s two steps forward and one step back, honor the courage it took to try.

Lakshmi Gopalkrishnan

Lakshmi Gopalkrishnan

I want to give special thanks to Lakshmi Gopalkrishnan for this post. We met in 2012 while training to be coaches at CTI in San Rafael, California. We completed a fast-track program and a rigorous certification that changed our lives.

Today, I collaborate with individuals, teams, and organizations using a powerful combination of coaching, branding, and marketing communications to inspire happiness and drive higher performance.  

Through her company, Infinite Impact, Lakshmi offers her expertise as a High-Performance keynote speaker,  executive leadership coach, and master facilitator for Dr. Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead™.  Follow Lakshmi on LinkedIn for more energizing posts.

What Would You Do If You Knew You Couldn’t Fail?

It’s 2023 and time to start the year with a fresh perspective.

So I ask you these three simple questions:

  1. What would you do if you knew you could not fail and those around you would wholeheartedly support you?
  2. Are you doing it?
  3. If not, then why?

Think about it …

If your reason for not doing something is that you’re afraid of failing or being judged … how much worse would that be than never having tried?

It’s better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing perfectly. Share on X

Make 2023 your year of personal leadership growth.

Do you have a goal you want to reach in 2023—either career-related or personal? Is there something you want to improve or change that’s been gnawing at you for years?

What’s holding you back? Where are you stuck? Why haven’t you been successful in the past? Have you ever considered working with a leadership coach?

Who exactly seeks out a coach? Leaders who want even more out of life.

Not sure if coaching is for you? Check out my coaching services. I will help you become clear on what you want, develop action plans, stay committed to your goals and live intentionally. With coaching certifications from the International Coaches Federation and The Coaches Training Institute, I am also skilled in organizational and relationship systems coaching—working with teams in small to large organizations.

As your coach, I will hold you accountable—and that’s a good thing because statistics show coached people are seven times more likely to follow through on their plans.

I have two openings for coaching clients now, so call me at 541.601.0114 or email me and let’s start a conversation (complimentary). Here’s to a great 2023!

What Brings You the Greatest Joy?

 “What do you do?” a new acquaintance asked me the other day. “I’m in the business of changing people’s lives,” I replied.

“Tell me more,” he smiled. “I use co-active coaching, positive psychology and the science of happiness to help people become healthier, more productive and to flourish,” I said.

I followed up by asking him what in his life brings him the greatest joy. “My partner,” he replied. “She is an amazing woman, and we have a wonderful relationship. Every day is a new adventure, and I cherish our every moment together.”

“What would it be like if you could have that passion in other areas of you life—in your career, for example?” I invited him to explore. “It would be great!” he replied. “I’ve never really thought that could be possible. The place I work at is so miserable. While I try to stay positive, there is so much negativity around me when I’m there. I don’t think I can make lemonade out of the lemons I’ve been given at Blankety-Blank Company.”

Isn’t that the way so many people feel? And what a shame. The thing is, each person has the option to control a good deal of his or her own happiness. Here’s where the science of happiness at work comes in. Because we can measure the key drivers of happiness at work (contribution, conviction, commitment, culture, confidence—coupled with trust, recognition and pride), we can focus in on the areas that need a boost. My business, Capiche, does this with individual coaching and team workshops. The results are impressive—both for the individuals and for the company. Individuals gain greater confidence, creativity, energy and job satisfaction. The company gains longer-term employees with 100% greater productivity who take ten times less sick leave, provide better customer service, make more accurate and better decisions, and are better team players.

Are you interested? I’d love to explore how the science of happiness can work for you. I invite you to contact me for a 30-minute sample coaching session to explore your personal happiness—either as it pertains to work or anything else. If you are a team leader and want to explore how your team can be happier, contact me for a free team happiness at work report that shows where your team could use a boost. Nothing to lose. No obligations. No kidding! I’m in the business of changing people’s lives. chris@capiche.us or 541-601-0114

 

The One Minute Manager—Do You Remember It? Do You Use It?

I was reminded of the classic book yesterday while Skyping with a young manager who trains employees for a multinational Fortune 100 consumer electronics firm in the Washington, D.C., area. She asked me if I’d ever read the book—well yes! We laughed. In 1982 when it was first published!

Hearing this young manager’s perspectives on the book led me to dust off my copy and peruse this forgotten gem. Since reading it nearly 30 years ago, I’ve worked for nine different managers. Which ones were most effective? Which ones elicited the best from their staff? Which ones ran productive, prosperous and happy shops? Yep, it’s the ones who employed the One Minute Management techniques: One Minute Goals, One Minute Praisings, and One Minute Reprimands. They weren’t the ones who spent their days sequestered in their closed offices not providing any feedback—good or bad.

“The best minute I spend is the one I invest in people.”

Written as a parable told through the eyes of a young manager’s search for the best leadership and management skills, one of the key elements of One Minute Management is MBWA (management by walking around), which was coined by Tom Peters around the same time in his best-selling In Search of Excellence.

“Goals begin behaviors; consequences maintain behaviors.”

Good performance begins with clear goals and expectations. These are set during a One Minute Goals meeting. Here, the manager and the employee agree on goals, write them down and then occasionally review them to ensure that they are being met. Consequences are reviewed too—for positive and negative outcomes. The meetings are longer than one minute, but are short and to the point.

MBWA is critical to techniques two and three. Walking around helps a manager catch someone doing something right and provides the opportunity to give One Minute Praisings. The manager praises the employee on the spot, telling him specifically what he did correctly and how that positively impacts the company’s business. Then, the manager lets the employee savor the moment, and finishes with a handshake.

“Feedback is the breakfast of champions.”

The third technique is the One Minute Reprimand. Being honest and accountable with those around you involves reprimanding when a wrong has occurred. The first step is to reprimand immediately and specifically. This is the same as the praise technique, and it holds an important aspect of the goals technique: it enables an understanding of goals and responsibilities and how to complete them correctly. It’s critical that following the reprimand, you shake hands and remind the person that it was simply their performance that you did not like—not them as a person. The handshake is important and reinforces that you believe in the person and their abilities.

“People who feel good about themselves, produce good results.”

The One Minute Manager is one of the best selling business books of all time. For nearly 30 years, millions of managers in companies small and large worldwide have benefitted from the simple techniques laid out by authors Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson.

It’s a quick read that lays out simple and easy-to-use basic management skills (that are used less often that you would think). You can differentiate yourself from most managers by actually using them!

If you’re not regularly using these simple techniques, I challenge you to try them out and see what changes with your team. Call or email me for a 30-minute leadership coaching session. Let’s put the One Minute Management techniques to work for you!

You Are Not the Mistakes You Have Made; You Are the Lessons You Have Learned.

Simple enough to say. Hard to own. We spend our whole lives judging and being judged by what we do—both good and bad. In our culture, mistakes are most often perceived as bad. Although lessons ensue, it’s the mistake—not the lesson—that is most remembered and internalized. It’s time to flip that paradigm. Grab hold of the lesson. Embrace the mistake. We fail forward. Without failure or mistakes, there is no learning. And isn’t learning what it’s all about? (No, it’s really NOT the hokey pokey!)

The learning model described as “Four Stages for Learning Any New Skill” shows that we begin in a state of unconscious incompetence. Then we move to conscious incompetence (where we know how much we don’t know). Then we hit the level of conscious competence, being very tuned in to the process of our work or skill.

Our end goal is to become unconsciously competent—to do what we do with complete ease, in the flow. In other words, we begin as a child who has no idea of what she knows or doesn’t know, nor of what can be known. We progress toward mastering our lives with thoughtfulness to living authentically with little or no effort.

I’m exploring this at my training this week at The Coaches Training Institute. Pretty intense stuff, and very important to becoming an authentic person and coach. I invite you to contact me at chris@capiche.us for a sample coaching session. I would be delighted to give you a complimentary 30-minute coaching session so you can begin to reach your life’s goals!

What’s so Funny ‘bout Peace, Love and Understanding? Making Cross-functional Teams Succeed.

Have you ever endured a team meeting that went from productive to disastrous? Where the people from the departments that make up the team just didn’t seem to get it? They fought with each other, protected their own departments and were distracted by a bazillion side issues and personal problems? Did you drift off, thinking of Elvis Costello’s plaintive cry, “What’s so funny ‘bout peace, love and understanding?” Does it make you want to go back to the good ol’ days where each department did its job and didn’t have to worry about what was going on in other areas of the organization?

I hope not, because those days are gone and not likely to return. With your organization’s competition re-re-engineering, Six Sigma-ing, TQM-ing and getting even leaner and meaner, now is the time to get your cross-functional teams working better together.

A cross-functional team is made up of at least three people from different functional areas working toward a common goal. This team will have members with different functional experiences and abilities, and who will likely come from different departments within the organization. A team member might even be an external partner. A cross-functional team is typically responsible for all or some segment of a work process that delivers a product or service to a customer who is either external or internal to the organization. The work process requires input from several functional areas, therefore group collaboration is essential. When managed properly cross-functional teams provide flexibility, control and speed, coupled with multi-disciplinary knowledge. In fast-changing markets, cross-functional teams can quickly respond to customer needs.

So what can you do to get a cross-functional team operating at its peak potential? Start by establishing shared values and a common goal. Emphasize collaboration and team rewards. As a team, agree upon how you will operate. How you will communicate and how often? How will you hold each other accountable? How can you best help one another? Effective teams are committed to communication and collaboration as well as constructive conflict. People working on teams also develop mutual accountability for the success or failure of the team’s efforts.

What can you do to be a better team member?

  • Consider things from the point of view of your teammates
  • Think about how your work impacts the work of others on the team
  • Look for input, advice and ideas from others on the team, and don’t push your solutions on others
  • Share ideas freely; don’t be afraid to give away your “secrets”
  • Embrace the diversity of your team
  • Get to know your teammates—what they value, how they like to be recognized, their preferred methods of communication

What if you’re the team leader? Do all of the above PLUS take on more the role of a coach than a traditional manager. You champion ideas, but don’t command. You don’t give orders or assignments, but you rely on the entire team to take part in decision-making. You are not “over” the group, but rather a contributing member of the group. You promote performance and makes sure that the team efforts are in line with the goals of your organization. It is also your responsibility to be the liaison for upper management, suppliers and other outside entities. In a sense, you are the team’s key spokesperson that keeps a clear vision of the team’s goals and promotes activities to obtain those goals.

The return on investment will be increased productivity, creativity and efficiency. The end result will be better because you have developed a product or service that meets the customer’s needs and has the sales associates’ buy in. AND you will have improved quality and innovation because you are getting all the best ideas from everyone. Cheers!

Image by digitalart

 

 

 

The Value of Happiness: How Employee Well-Being Drives Profits

Do you have any idea how happy I was to see my January/February 2012 issue of the Harvard Business Review with this cover? “The Value of Happiness: How Employee Well-Being Drives Profits.” My good cheer was palpable. This further confirms all that I have learned about the Science of Happiness at Work and the Performance-Happiness Model.

The issue has several articles that make good points.

The Economics of Well-Being: This article points out how GNP and GDP (which measure wealth by income generated) don’t take into account the unpaid good in society (volunteering, child rearing, etc.) yet do include the paid “bad” such as the money generated by building prisons, paying lawyers for divorces, etc. It talks about metrics like the Human Development Index (we’re 4th after Norway, Australia and the Netherlands) and Human Development, Adjusted for Inequality (we don‘t place). The main gist of the article is about the history of how well-being intersects with economics and what direction it’s headed. Good news: it’s headed toward looking more closely at happiness and quality of life as indicators of wealth. The countries of Bhutan and Great Britain are on the leading edge of that new measurement.

The Science Behind the Smile: Researchers are now measuring happiness and defining what really makes people happy. It’s not what you think. Yes, people who are rich, in a good relationship, actively participating in their church and healthy are happier overall. But events like getting a promotion, a new house or car or acing an exam only create more happiness for about three months. The frequency of positive experiences is more important than the intensity. And at work, what really contributes most to happiness is feeling appropriately challenged—when you’re striving to achieve goals that are ambitious but not out of reach. Managers take note: happier workers are more productive and creative. Years of research on rewards and punishment present a very clear finding: rewards work better.

Creating Sustainable Performance: “If you give your employees the chance to learn and grow, they’ll thrive—and so will your organization.” How do you create an environment where employees feel that they are learning, achieving their potential and contributing to something that matters? Do all of the following:

  • Give them decision-making discretion.
  • Share information.
  • Minimize incivility.
  • Offer performance feedback.

These four tactics work together to create a culture where your employees can thrive. This mindset is contagious. And drives better performance in a sustainable way.

Positive Intelligence: More research shows that when people work with a positive mindset, every business outcome shows improvement. That includes greater productivity, creativity, customer service and sales, and less sick time and turnover. And while we believe that happiness is mainly determined by genetics and environment, there is much that we can do to increase our levels and frequency of happiness. Three activities the author recommends:

  • Develop a habit that trains your brain to be happier (i.e., meditate at your desk for 2 minutes, exercise for 10 minutes, write a positive message to someone in your social support network or write down three things each day that you are grateful for). See my blog on What Went Well for more details on this.
  • Help your coworkers—research shows that people with high levels of social support reap many benefits including better health, more promotions and better customer experiences.
  • Mitigate stress. Although stress is an inevitable part of work and can sometimes enhance your performance, getting stressed out about things outside of your control is harmful. Next time you are feeling overly stressed, make a list of the things that are causing the stress. Separate these stressors into two types: the things you can change and the things you cannot. Then choose one that you can change and take one concrete step toward mitigating that stressor.

I’d like to help you become happier at work. Start by taking a free assessment at http://tinyurl.com/free-Capiche-survey. Then call me for a complimentary coaching session to explore what you can do to increase your happiness at work—and increase your productivity and value to your company.

 

Change Your Business; Transform Your Life in 2012

With the start of the new year, many of us reflect on areas in which we hope to improve, leading us to a more fulfilled life. Perhaps one of these challenges resonates with you.

  • You are a manager who is trying to improve the performance of a struggling employee.
  • You are unhappy at work and wonder if you’re the problem.
  • You supervise a unit that has been downsized; yet you are challenged with increasing profits and productivity – doing more with less.

Consider hiring an executive coach. A coach can help you evoke excellence in yourself and in others. Don’t worry – coaching isn’t prescriptive; it isn’t someone else telling you what to do (you probably get enough of that already!). Coaching helps you tap into your own inner wisdom. It begins with the shared understanding that you are creative, resourceful, and whole. In other words, you aren’t the problem; you are the solution.

Why hire a coach? A coach will:

  • Provide you with someone outside of your office to work with on sensitive work-related issues
  • Help with goal setting
  • Create accountability for your actions
  • Help you measure your progress toward your goal(s)
  • Provide unbiased perspectives
  • Guide you toward balance, fulfillment, and processes necessary to create an environment for your professional and personal success.

If you are wondering if coaching can help you, take our free happiness at work assessment. There may be areas at work where you could use a little boost. (Take the free assessment here to see how you score.) Then, contact me for a free consultation. You can transform your life, increase your profits, and enhance productivity. I look forward to talking with you.

 

Most employee problems are directly related to . . .

I’m presenting tomorrow at the University of New Mexico’s Mentoring Institute Conference on Leveraging the Science of Happiness at Work. Excited! Also doing a poster session and getting my paper published in the proceedings. A copy will soon be on this website.  

Today’s offerings opened with renowned researcher and publisher David Clutterbuck. I was pleasantly surprised that most of what he said was a refrain of the learning and research I have been doing – always nice to confirm!

He is colorful and has some pretty interesting points of view. 
1. Most employee problems are directly related to their supervisors. 
2. If succession planning works, then why do the wrong people keep getting to the top (I think his next book is on succession planning). 

Also, he shared some very powerful questions to use in coaching. 
1. What’s the risk in succeeding?
2. How many lies are you telling yourself about this?

He noted that men and women consistently tell themselves different types of lies. I invite you! Who wants to guess what the differences are?

 

Playing to the Edge in Las Vegas

What an incredible week as I attended the International Coaching Federation’s international conference! The theme was Playing to the Edge. With more than 1,000 coaches from around the world, we gathered together to continue our studies in the art and science of coaching and share perspectives on how we can help businesses and employees achieve their potential in our global economy.

Some of my personal highlights:

Having returned from the conference, renewed and invigorated, I was today’s guest on KCMX 880AM’s “Southern Oregon Live,” where I talked about happiness at work. In the next few weeks, I’ll be speaking at the 2011 Mentoring Conference at the University of New Mexico’s Mentoring Institute; return as a guest to KCMX, where I’ll appear on the “Open for Business” program; and also address the members of the Southern Oregon Chapter of the Society for Human Resources Managers in Medford, Oregon.